Diabolic
by Yunaine
Summary: Harry and Albus end up at the outskirts of Tristram where they overhear three unlikely heroes arguing. When Harry joins one of them into the depths of the monastery, he experiences more than he bargained for. - Set at the end of fifth year; Harry/Rogue


Disclaimer: I do not own the Diablo and Harry Potter universes.

Beta: Ethiliam – who knew the Diablo universe (_an easy feat since he familiarised me with Blizzard through the first Warcraft game_) and didn't mind reading this crossover.

#

**DIABOLIC**

#

Harry Potter and Albus Dumbledore flew head first out of a blue vortex before slamming into the ground. After they recovered from their harsh ordeal, they stood up and took in their new surroundings. They had arrived between a cottage and a creek. Harry glanced around the corner and saw several other cottages neatly arranged around a village square which had a well of pure water directly in the middle.

"This music is getting on my nerves," Harry said. "Nice, but too loud."

Albus turned towards Harry. "We have been deposited into an unknown world after being consumed by a vortex that was created by spells colliding against a reflecting circular object and your first statement is about _music_?"

"Yes," Harry said. "I was there. I know what happened. Voldemort and Bellatrix were gobbled up by another vortex. We arrived here and they didn't. My initial assessment remains: music, too loud."

"Don't you want to know where we are?" Albus asked with increasing incredulity.

Harry didn't even glance at the elderly Headmaster. "This kind of crap happens to me each year. I stopped asking silly questions like '_Where did I end up now?_' and '_What time is it?_' after Hermione strangled me with her necklace to hurl us back in time. Ssooo ... where is Sirius and why did Remus stop me?"

"The Veil is an archway to worlds beyond our own. Sirius will be fine and we can retrieve him later."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Doesn't explain why Remus stopped me."

"Tom planned for you to retrieve the Prophecy, which only I know the contents of." Albus cleared his throat. "Harry ... you are destined to vanquish Voldemort."

Harry ignored the last sentence. "Hilarious. You didn't hold me back. Remus did. Fancy that." He stared at Albus. "You informed everyone but me, didn't you?"

A peculiar sound drew their attention away from the current discussion. They peeked around the house and saw three people walking towards the village square while a blue vortex remained open at the end of a small path.

"Wand out," Albus said.

"My wand is on the Atrium's floor in the Ministry so I'm having a tiny problem with your order." Harry noticed Albus' horrified look. "What? I was being sucked into a vortex and I panicked. Bellatrix dropped hers too, fearless my foot."

Harry felt a chill coursing over his skin. He shivered before turning around to look for Albus who was nowhere to be seen.

"Disillusionment Charm," Albus said. "Do not move and we will remain invisible so we can determine if the residents are friendly or hostile."

Harry didn't see the need to reply. He turned his attention back towards the arriving trio. A young armoured man, sword in hand, walked at the front with a glum expression. An elderly man in faded-red robes followed him with his long stave tapping against the ground on every other step. Walking next to the old man was a young girl, bow in her hand. She looked ecstatic. Harry, knowing he was invisible, took great care to focus his attention on the sexy girl.

"We have lost the strange yet forceful ancient power that guided our actions," the elderly man said.

The girl grinned. "We can do what we want!"

The young man grunted.

"Indeed, we can. Rogue, Warrior, I fear I must part ways. My bones are weary and I would meet my end soon should I continue the battle against the foes we've encountered."

"No, Sorcerer!" Rogue said. "You can't!"

"I daresay that I can." He walked out of the village square, heading towards the East. The stave in his hands had been downgraded to a mere walking cane.

"But – But – No!" Rogue said, voice edging dangerously close to whining. "You're the only intelligent conversation around here. Warrior doesn't even know how to pronounce the word, let alone know what it means!"

Warrior look confused, drawing a sigh from Rogue. A terrified scream resounded in the distance. Everyone focused their gaze towards Sorcerer's last known location. A tiny flame belched out of a vicious gap in the ground. Silence. Harry swallowed at how quickly someone had died while no one had even seen it happening.

Rogue folded her arms and mumbled, "That'll teach him. Leaving me alone with an illiterate waste of muscle. Ancient mana-potion-stealing holier-than-thou bastard."

"Wha?" Warrior asked.

"Apparently, retirement," Rogue said with a snicker.

"Huh?"

Rogue turned towards Warrior, wondering how she could get rid of the buffoon. "He –" she pointed towards Sorcerer's last location, "– quit."

"Ah."

"For the love of –" Rogue turned away from him before she couldn't resist the itching desire to slap him. She made her way towards a blue-robed man that stood next to the well.

"Hello, my friend. Stay awhile and listen ..."

"Cain," Rogue said, eyebrow twitching.

"Hello, my friend. Stay awhile and listen ..."

Grinding her teeth as she tried to vaporise the man on the spot by her glare, she suddenly smiled. A sniffle escaped. "I'm free. I can do what I want."

"Emo girl," Warrior said.

Rogue glared at Warrior. "Excuse me for wanting to treasure this legendary moment."

"Treasure?" Warrior asked, perking up when the word had been spoken.

"That's the only multi-syllable word you know, isn't it?" Rogue asked while giving him a look that screamed '_you idiot_'.

Warrior was no longer listening. He was walking around the village, trying to find the previously discussed treasure before anyone could claim it before he had. Rogue turned away from the idiot and focused her attention back on Cain.

"Cain," she said.

"Hello, my friend –"

"I love you so much –" A giant spiked club flickered into her hands.

"– stay awhile –"

"– for this." She swung the club around, putting all of her energy behind it.

"– and –"

_THUD._

Cain slammed inelegantly into the ground, ending up sprawled against the nearby well. Rogue was swinging back and forth on the balls of her feet, giant smile visible.

"That felt sooo good," she said. "This must be what sheer satisfaction feels like."

Rogue let out a massive yawn before stretching herself out. The sound of an avalanche of weapons and armours clinging to the ground grabbed her attention.

"Ident –" Warrior broke off, bag of gold hanging limply in his hands.

Rogue snorted as she spotted the blue robes under the mass of dumped loot. Not in the mood to repeat herself, she tried to make her intentions clear for the resident idiot. She pointed at herself. "Taking break. Back in a few days. Bye."

Warrior grunted.

"Have fun!" Rogue said before heading towards the West, crossing the small creek over a derelict bridge. She settled down against a tree located between the two creeks before they joined. "Aaahh, relaxation."

Harry snapped out of his daydreaming – an acceptable replacement for 'staring at Rogue' – when Albus removed the invisibility. Albus strode towards Cain, horrified at the man's predicament. Harry sighed before he followed, already resigning himself to the fact that he would regret showing his face since he'd somehow be hoodwinked into saving the day. Albus cast a Hovering Spell to lift all the items from the whimpering man.

"Mine!" Warrior stated.

Before Albus could respond, he was lifted into the air with one hand while another snapped his wand. The wand fell to the ground, useless now. Warrior grunted as he stared at Albus who still couldn't touch the ground with his feet. Albus turned his head towards Harry for help.

Harry raised an eyebrow before taking a long and good look at Warrior. Harry mimicked the size of the guy with his right hand, then his own size for comparison. He shook his head. He scanned the armour and sword that Warrior wore and ... was that blood? Harry lifted his eyes towards the sky before whistling an innocent, merry tune. He had gotten into enough crap for today so he was very willing to overlook this entire situation. Nothing was wrong. For a short second, he even believed that himself.

Warrior noticed Cain underneath the rubble and dropped Albus to the ground before grabbing his stuff.

"My – My –" Albus stuttered, looking at his broken wand.

Warrior nodded. "Yours." Then he grunted and walked away.

"Well, what can I do for ya?" a sturdy fellow asked.

Harry saw items popping in and out of existence while Warrior received gold in return. Harry shrugged, shaking off the unusual occurrence without questioning it.

"Are you all right?" Albus asked.

Cain stood up, knees shaking. "Hello, my ..." Cain blinked, mouth opening and closing without saying anything.

Harry snickered.

"This is no laughing matter, Harry," Albus said. "We are in dire need for information and this man seems incredibly helpful."

"Right," Harry said. "Good luck with that. I'll just go and ... explore. Yeah. Let's go with that."

Albus nodded. "Knowing the area will prove beneficial, but remain vigilant."

Harry walked away from the village square, idly wondering if Albus truly believed that he was going to explore. Harry knew his destination and wouldn't be doing much exploring at all. While he walked away, the elderly man started to get his bearings again.

"Hello, my twinkling – my friend – stay ... something."

#

As Harry crossed on the unstable bridge, an overblown name for the few planks that had been thrown over the creek, he noticed a small light emanating from a small shack in the distance. He ignored that and approached Rogue who had shifted her focus on him the moment he had stepped into view.

"Hi," he said. "Do you mind?" He pointed at the ground next to her.

"Not at all, take a seat. Freedom and new arrivals ... fantastic. I'm Rogue, and you?" she asked while looking him over.

Harry sat down on the grass next to her. "Harry. Pleased to meet you."

"Likewise."

An uncomfortable silence descended upon them. Harry stared at the merging of the two creeks to avoid staring at her. He doubted she'd take kindly to that kind of behaviour.

"How did you –?"

"Do you know -?"

Their lips twitched at their timing.

"Ladies first," Harry said.

"Thank you," she said with an easy smile. "How did you arrive here?"

Harry ruffled his hair with one of his hands. "Well, my Headmaster and I were sucked into a vortex which threw us out at the outskirts of town. We heard your party arrive so he made us invisible since we didn't know what to expect."

"I see," she said, her eyes narrowing. "I thought I was going insane. That controlling power was gone but I still felt as if someone was watching me the entire time."

Harry abruptly turned away from Rogue. His cheeks crimsoned. Voice cracking, he said, "Really? Must've been my Headmaster ... the old pervert."

"I'm sure," she said, grinning at his reaction that told her more than his explanation. "Your question?"

"Sorry?"

"Your question earlier, what was it?"

"Ah, right," Harry said, embarrassed that it had slipped his mind. "Do you know how to tune down the music around here? Another few minutes and my hearing loss will get permanent."

Rogue stared at him in confusion. "New guy, right," she said as comprehension dawned on her. "Already forgot about that."

Rogue grabbed Harry's belt – an accessory he hadn't even noticed – and pulled out a small data pad. She started tapping on the buttons and seconds later the music toned down to a soft sound in the distance.

"Thank you so much!" Harry said, cleaning one of his ears with a finger. "Finally a bit of rest."

"You're welcome." Rogue didn't stop tapping the buttons on his data pad. "Level five, huh? You'll fit right in. Let muscle-guy go first and you'll have no problems." She looked up and frowned at him. "No attributes allocated. So, what are you supposed to be?"

Harry swallowed his eloquent 'huh?' since he didn't want to be compared to Warrior. "What do you mean?"

"Your profession or your skill. Do you chop enemies into pieces at close-range, turn them into a porcupine from a distance, or disintegrate them with spells?"

"I'm a wizard."

"Sorcerer, then."

"Wizard."

"Sorcerer."

"Wiz –"

Rogue grabbed Harry, halting his mature response, and pulled him towards her until his nose almost bumped into hers. "My universe. My rules. Sor-ce-rer. Got it?"

Harry nodded quickly and decisively, settling the entire matter. Rogue turned her attention back to the data pad and started tapping the buttons again. Harry felt a tingle spreading throughout his entire body.

"Most points in Magic," she murmured, oblivious to Harry's reaction. She looked up and let her eyes rove over his body. "Some in Vitality ... you look as if you'd drop dead any second."

Harry swiped the data pad from her hands when she halted again. "What are you doing?" He looked at the data on the device.

"Setting your attributes so you'll fight better. Sorcerers need Magic to cast spells. Vitality gives you a better fighting chance if something manages to hit you, but there's a spell that can bypass that little hurdle later on."

"What about Strength?" Harry asked before tapping the button.

"No! You don't need –"

Harry had increased his Strength with only a few points and he felt more powerful than ever before. He glanced at Rogue and saw her licking her lips. "Apparently, I do."

She turned away from him as a blush spread across her cheeks.

"What is your profession?" he asked. "Close-range, distance, or disintegrator?"

Rogue tapped the bow that lay at her side. "Shooting makes everything better."

"No arrows?"

"No need," she said. She took the bow, gently caressing it before pulling the bow's string. An arrow appeared on it.

"Wicked," he said, taking advantage of her occupied state he grabbed her data pad from her belt. He ignored the indignant exclamation that came from her and opened her character sheet. "Level –"

Rogue slapped her hand over Harry's mouth. "You _never_ talk about a woman's level. Never."

Harry's eyes were wide open in shock. He wondered why she cared if anyone found out that she was level – Harry's thoughts halted when an arrow's point hovered an inch from one of his eyeballs. He swallowed. "Understood."

"Good," she said, lowering her bow. "What kind of spells do you know?"

"None that I can use since I don't have my wand."

"Wand?" Her nose crinkled. "We don't have any of those, least not that I've seen. We have staves." She sighed. "You're pretty useless, aren't you? No spells, no knowledge, no items. Guess I should be satisfied that you can hold a conversation."

"I – What – But - Hey! I arrived ten minutes ago!"

"I was killing bad guys after five minutes. How did you even get to level five anyway?"

"I finished my fifth year at school ..."

"You're useless," she repeated, shaking her head.

Harry's eyes narrowed at Rogue. "I stopped a Dark Lord from attaining immortality, I killed a giant legendary snake, I travelled through time itself to help my Godfather, I won a deadly tournament, and this evening I stopped the same Dark Lord again!"

"Really?" she asked, giving him an eager look. "What loot did you get?"

"Loot?"

Rogue shut her eyes. "Loot! The stuff they leave behind when you defeat them. The stuff you claim as your own."

"Oh, I got a sword once," Harry said. "Saved my life too."

"Where is it?"

"I gave it to my Headmaster."

Rogue stared at Harry in complete and total incomprehension. "You're level five, you underwent several deadly encounters and came out victorious, you only got a sword ... and then you gave it away? You're insane!"

"It wasn't my sword!" Harry said in protest.

"I don't see the problem," she said, dismissing his concerns. Her brain caught up with her and a grin started forming. Her adoration for Harry grew in leaps and bounds. "You don't care about loot?" she asked, wanting to make certain she got this right.

"Should I?"

"No, you shouldn't," she said, happily accepting Harry's stance. "Loot; who cares, right?" She stood up, grabbed his hand, pulled him up and started dragging him along. "Come on!" she said, before whispering, "You're my new best friend."

The two youngsters arrived at the shack that Harry had seen before. A black-robed woman stood in front of the doorway.

"Adria!" Rogue said.

"I sense a soul in search of answers ..."

"Yeah, yeah. Here; take this, this, and this. And –" Rogue stared at Harry before nodding. "– give me that."

Harry caught the book that Rogue tossed his way before it slammed into his face. He looked at her in surprise.

"Read that," she said.

_Book of Firebolt._

"Now?" he asked, wondering why she wanted him to read a book about his broom.

"No, tomorrow," she said with so much sarcasm dripping from the two words that even Harry couldn't miss it. "Of course now!"

Harry opened the book and started reading the first page.

"Not like that," she said, borderline whining. "Skim through it and keep paging."

Harry frowned at her, but followed her unveiled suggestion. He skimmed through the entire book until he reached the end, closing it in the process. The book vanished from his hands and he felt the words burning into his very mind. He remembered everything. He _knew_ how to use that spell.

"What the –" Harry broke off as he thought back at his education. "Bollocks! Stupid teachers at Hogwarts, I should ask my money back. Five years ... five years, wasted!"

"Let's go kill stuff," she said, already dragging him towards the North.

"Thanks for the book."

"No problem," she said. She held a free hand in front of her mouth to contain the giggle that escaped her. In a whisper, she said, "You'll be worth the investment ... no interest in loot, indeed."

#

"_The sanctity of this place has been fouled_," Harry said when they descended into the first level of the monastery. "Why the hell did I just say that?"

Rogue shrugged.

"Should I worry about the butchered man that's lying in a pool of his own blood in front of the entrance?"

"The late Sorcerer talked to him but I ignored his stupid stuttering."

Harry looked around the place they'd entered. They were in a large square room that contained several opened tombs. Skeletons and bones were strewn around haphazardly, together with a few corpses of creatures he had never heard of. The shadows flickered as the door closed behind them and the lit torches became their only source of light. The grey-blue walls were a stark contrast to the fading red stones that made up the floor. Harry followed Rogue through the room into a slightly larger one, although it looked almost the same.

"Err ... what are we doing here?" Harry asked.

"Kill stuff, get powerful, kill bad guy at the end."

"And why are we doing that?"

"I'm bored."

Harry gave her an incredulous stare. "You wanted relaxation. Hell, I wanted relaxation."

"Then I got bored," she said. "I don't see the problem. There is nothing else to do around here, might as well mop up down here."

"We could die!"

"Who cares? Sure, the walk back is annoying but it's only a minor inconvenience."

"What?" Harry asked, slightly hysterical.

Rogue stopped walking and she crossed her arms, remembering the event. "I died a while back ... stupid guiding force put me smack in the middle of a room, surrounded by foul beasts. I died before I got a single arrow fired, only to resurrect south of the village square. Then I tried again." Hey eye twitched. "And again. And again."

The implication stumped Harry. "Remember that vortex-thingy? In my world, we don't get a second chance."

"That ... sucks," she said, shivering as she'd already died several times.

"Two of my enemies were also gobbled up. Will they be 'immortal' too?"

"Nah, bad guys only get one life. Suckers," she said, snickering at the end.

Rogue continued onwards and guided Harry towards the stairs so they could descend into the second level. Again, they walked around a similar looking place until Harry couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Dull, isn't it?"

"We were searching for the stairs towards the third level when our guiding force vanished. After we got our freedom, we finished up the mobs and took a Town Portal into ... well, town," Rogue said.

"One direction only?"

"Nah, but Sorcerer created the portal and he quit. I guess it cancelled out his resurrection."

Harry frowned. "You guess?"

"Let's not test, shall we?"

The sound of a sword hitting and killing things could be heard in the distance. Harry and Rogue walked towards the source to find Warrior cleaving things into little pieces. Several items were littered on the ground, only to vanish when Warrior walked past them into another line of enemies, skeleton archers that kept moving back until they were cornered against a wall.

"What is this?" Harry whispered.

Rogue ignored his query, instead focusing on the enemies that came towards them. She started firing arrows at them. "What are you waiting for?" she asked Harry. "An invitation? Kill those things!"

"How am I supposed –" A firebolt burst from his fingertips, brushing past Rogue before slamming harmlessly into a wall.

"Watch it!" Rogue shouted. "Kill monsters, not me!"

Harry threw several firebolts at the approaching creatures until everything, excluding his companions, stopped moving. More items had fallen to the ground, one of which grabbed Harry's attention.

"What the – How can a tiny creature drop _that_?" Harry asked while pointing towards a two-handed axe.

"Don't know. Don't care. Pick it up and stash it, you can sell it for money," Rogue said. "If you find something with a strange glow, blue or gold, let me know. Those need – err – _special care_. Yeah. You shouldn't handle those."

"U-huh," Harry said, not entirely convinced. "Stash it where?"

"Your inventory. Pick it up and put it there."

Harry picked the giant axe up without any effort. He frowned at the weightless gigantic axe. He tried to swing the massive thing but his muscles refused to cooperate. He tapped the steel, wondering where he could stash this thing when a stray thought about inventory made the weapon vanish from his hands into the newly designated location.

"What –?"

"Enemies incoming!" Rogue shouted.

Harry focused on his surroundings again, lighting up the long pillared hallway with a stream of firebolts. Skeletons and zombies crumbled under Harry and Rogue's combined onslaught before any could reach them. A puff of smoke appeared when Harry tried to throw another firebolt.

"Hey, what the hell?!"

Rogue glanced at him, whispering, "Newbie, Rogue. Stay calm. Skewing him with arrows is _not_ the solution ... even if it sounds so very tempting."

"What did you say?" Harry asked.

"Nothing," she answered with a sweet smile. She nudged her head towards the side. "See the blue potion on the floor? Grab it and drink it. Less talking, more firebolts."

Harry saw the continuous stream of enemies and decided not to aggravate Rogue. He drank the blue potion and felt energised when the cool liquid spread through his body. He started throwing firebolt after firebolt at the horde of enemies until he ran out of steam again. He scanned the room and found several more bottles. He gathered them up, putting a few in his belt for easy access, and used another potion to clean up the last portion of enemies.

"That was fun," Rogue said as she slumped against a nearby wall. Noticing the mass of items, she grinned.

After distributing the loot, they continued onwards. They cleared the area around a singular room, which stood strangely in the middle of an open area. Rogue frowned at it while wondering what might be found inside. Harry stood next to her, oblivious to her pondering while shifting from one foot to another.

"Stand still!" Rogue said when she grew annoyed at his constant motion.

"I – err – I need to pee," Harry said.

Rogue gave him a dead-stare. "We've only been here for twenty minutes."

"I drank five of those damned bottles! I need to pee!"

"Fine," Rogue said, sighing. "I'll go back to see if we missed anything. Go take a leak somewhere." She waved her hand around carelessly.

Harry watched her retreating back as she strode away while scanning her surroundings. Not thinking clearly, Harry opened the door to the unexplored room. Blood pooled the walls. Corpses were skewered on pikes. One of them twitched. The smell of blood and decay flowed out of the room.

"Haaaah," a deep voice resounded across the room. "Fresh meat!"

Harry looked at the bloodied figure that started walking towards him, armed with an even bloodier cleaver. Harry swallowed. "Oh, crap." He forgot his pressing issue and ran away from the horrible room. He sprinted in the same direction that Rogue had taken, quickly overtaking her slow stride. "Run for it!"

"What?" she asked. She looked over her shoulder and saw the approaching figure. Ignoring Harry's advice, she nudged arrow after arrow onto her bow, skewering the thing with arrows. None seemed to have any impact on the advancing figure.

Harry noticed her reaction and slid to a halt. He ran back, grabbed her, and started dragging her along as he ran away again.

"Lemme go!"

"No! We don't know whether the resurrection-thingy still works and I'd rather find out before either of us gets maimed by _that_," Harry said.

Rogue's eyes widened. No longer needing any encouragement, she ran alongside Harry. "I left you alone for half a minute and you stumbled across that thing? Where did you find him anyway?"

"The bathroom!"

Rogue wondered how they could test their predicament before she was hit with a sudden insight. "Hey Warrior!" she shouted. "You around?"

No one responded to the query. Harry and Rogue were tiring from the ordeal and the few attacks they managed to get in seemed to have little to no effect on the constantly approaching figure.

"Guess he has some sense, huh?" Harry asked.

"No, he doesn't," Rogue said, annoyed at the implication that Warrior had any sense at all. Perking up, she said, "Oh, look, treasure!"

Coincidentally, Warrior just happened to appear from the next corner. He eyes the bloodied maniac before approaching it fearlessly. He was then cleaved into several pieces until his corpse disappeared from the floor.

Rogue swallowed and put up a Town Portal through which she escaped. Harry followed after her without a second's thought.

"Safe!" she said.

"Why didn't you do that earlier?"

"I forgot."

Warrior appeared in the distance, walked over to Rogue's portal, and disappeared from sight to battle the foe again.

"You forgot you had a way to escape that vicious thing?" Harry asked.

"Yes, it happens!"

Harry's predicament made itself blindingly clear again. He looked around and spotted a tree to the North. "I'm going to dispose the contents of my bladder now. Back in a moment."

Rogue rolled her eyes at him. When Harry returned, he looked more cheerful and less constipated. Rogue sat next to the dark-blue portal, watching as Warrior disappeared through it again.

"Six," she said.

Harry frowned at her.

"We're safe, numbskull is at his sixth attempt."

Warrior appeared in the distance, walked over to Rogue's portal, and disappeared from sight to battle the foe again.

"Make that seventh." Her lips twitched. "Oh, well. Let's go clean our inventory."

"But – What about him?" Harry asked.

Rogue shrugged, not caring about the dimwit. She approached the village square and saw another old man standing next to Cain. She halted her stride. Grinning, she asked, "That the old perverted Headmaster of yours?"

"Yes," Harry said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Albus Dumbledore."

"Please, please, please tell me he's not as annoying as Cain ..."

Silence.

"Well?" Rogue asked.

"Well, what? You told me not to tell you."

"I hate you." She walked towards Cain, ignoring Albus on purpose.

"Hello, my –" Cain started.

"Yeah, yeah, save it. Identify." Rogue handed over a small sack of gold coins. She turned around and headed towards the muscled man that stood in the entrance of his workshop.

"Well, what can I do for ya?" the man asked.

"The usual," Rogue said. She almost emptied her entire inventory while receiving sacks of gold in return. Rogue turned towards Harry. "This guy, Griswold, buys most of the stuff we find. He can also repair your equipment if you need it."

Harry repeated her action. Bags nearly empty, he fingered a few potions before putting them into his belt.

"Adria sells staves and spell-books that you'll need, but she doesn't sell cheap and you don't have the money for that yet. The guy in the white robes, Pepin, heals us for free. He's a handy guy and –"

Harry knew from sufficient experience that this would be a long and weary explanation. Turning slightly so Rogue couldn't see his action, he grabbed his data pad and tapped a few times. Ah. Wonderful silence. He looked at Rogue, nodding at the appropriate times, or giving a non-committal shrug. Eventually, he lost track and stared off in the distance. He was interrupted from his musings when Rogue grabbed his arm, yanked out his data pad, and tapped through the menu. She released him, but grabbed his robes instead, dragging him close so he could see her burning eyes.

"Did you ... mute me?" she asked.

"No?" Harry half-said, half-asked.

"You – you –" Rogue pulled her bow out with her left hand, stroking the wood lovingly with her right. She glared at Harry while knocking an arrow onto the bow. "Five seconds."

"Huh?"

"One."

"Can we talk –"

"Two."

"– about this?"

"Three."

Harry fled the dangerous scene, running around the corner of the blacksmith's stop. An arrow lodged into a nearby wooden beam. "Bollocks! Me and my stupid ideas."

"Get back here!" Rogue shouted.

Harry ran towards the portal. Noticing Warrior halfway there, Harry moved in front of Warrior who received several arrows in his back before collapsing to the ground. Harry slid through the portal before anything could hit him ... only to come face-to-face with a giant cleaver.

"AAaaaahhhh," he shouted with the utmost dignity – a girlish scream started echoing across the entire level – and he ducked underneath the swinging weapon. He fled from the bloodthirsty creature, leaving skid-marks on the floor. He rounded a corner.

"You bastard, stop running!" Rogue shouted, voice ringing throughout the hallway. "Muting me, huh? I'll show y – Iiiiieeeeeee."

Harry chuckled as her sentence was cut off. She entered his sight a moment later. "Go away," Harry said. "This is my hideout."

The blood-covered creature made its way around the corner too, raising its cleaver.

"Never mind, you can have this spot," Harry said, running around the creature back to the portal ... which had mysteriously vanished. "Where's the damned portal?!"

"One-time scroll," Rogue said. "They're expensive!"

Tired from all the running, Harry turned to face the advancing figure, firing firebolts. Rogue copied his example, notching arrow after arrow onto her bow.

"What is that thing, anyway?" Harry asked.

"The Butcher, I guess. His handiwork was prominently displayed at the start of the monastery."

They kept firing, helping each other out by distracting the creature whenever it came too close for comfort. Minutes of exhilarating combat passed by, until Harry and Rogue noticed Warrior arriving. The young man had walked all the way back through the levels and he immediately stormed at The Butcher. Without any gear ... no armour and no weapon.

Rogue looked at Warrior with sheer astonishment. "What an idiot."

"How does he do that?" Harry asked.

"Do what?"

"He keeps swallowing potions and – oh ... I did not want to know that."

Rogue squinted her eyes at Warrior. "What are you talking –" She noticed the liquid running down Warrior's legs. "_Iieeeuuwww! Gross!_"

Several of Rogue's arrows 'missed' The Butcher, instead lodging into Warrior's back, thus killing the poor guy _again_. The Butcher repeated Warrior's death-scene and fell lifelessly to the floor. Rogue swiped up the cleaver and put it away. She walked over to Warrior's gear that lay near the location of the previous portal and swiped his gear too. Harry and Rogue rested against one of the walls.

"No loot?" Warrior asked when he arrived from his enjoyable walk through the levels.

"Nope," Rogue said, innocence radiating through the single word.

Warrior looked around the room. "My gear?!"

Rogue pursed her lips before forcing them open, making a small popping noise. She skimmed the room until she saw Harry frowning at her. She pointed at him. "He took it."

"What?" Harry asked. "I'm innocent!"

Warrior advanced on Harry, clearly intending to beat the new and guilty Sorcerer. Harry heard Rogue laughing so he narrowed his eyes. He fired several firebolts at Warrior, killing him in the process.

"I'm _innocent_," Rogue said, still laughing. "As if he knows the meaning of the word ..."

"You!"

"Peace!" she said, wiping away a tear that had escaped from Harry's misfortune. "That was payback for muting me."

Harry shook his head at her. "Why did you swipe his gear, anyway?"

"He's useless, might as well sell it and be done with him."

Harry and Rogue made their way towards the other end of the hallway where they noticed a walled piece of stairs that led down, descending further into the monastery.

"Next level!" Rogue said, grinning.

Harry sighed at the volatile woman, making a mental note to not end up on her bad side again.

#

The young heroes had fought their way through several levels as they descended further into the lurking depths of the massive dungeon. The scenery and the layout of the levels had changed. They were unable to walk from room to room due to the addition of long and winding corridors that now connected the smaller and more numerous chambers. While the maze-like structure had seemed like a bother at first, the immense advantage of being able to hold the line as enemies failed to surround them had quickly removed the thought from their minds. Harry had become one happy Sorcerer due to the immense amount of libraries that contained spell-books to improve his knowledge. He had only just learned a new spell and he couldn't wait to show Rogue. He bounced over to her.

"_– you see what cannot be, shadows move where light should be –_"

"Rogue!" he said, drawing her attention. "I learned a great new spell!"

The book that she had been paging through snapped shut. Rogue turned around, teeth grinding. "Harry, what did I tell you about disturbing me when I'm reading? You know I'll have to restart this thing from the beginning, right?"

Harry, oblivious to her rising temper, continued, "Watch this!"

A wall of fire burst from the ground, burning everything in its path. Due to Harry's inexperience with the new spell, Rogue found herself standing in the middle of said wall.

"Aaahh," she shouted, running out of the fire.

"Err ..." Harry swallowed. "Sorry?"

"Ggrrrr," she growled out, glaring at Harry.

Unnoticed by Rogue, steam was rising from her clothing.

"Really hot," Harry mumbled. He saw the death-glare aimed his way and realised that hadn't been the right thing to say. "Oh, look, my inventory is full!"

Harry set up a Town Portal and escaped into town. Taking advantage of his head start, he approached Cain for the first time. Instead of calling Rogue when he spotted a glowing item, he had taken two of them to see what the big deal was about.

"Identify," Harry said, handing the old man money.

"You burned me!" Rogue shouted from a short distance.

Harry glimpsed at the item in his inventory and his mouth fell open. _The Rainbow Cloak._ He threw off his current robe.

"What are you –?"

Harry put on his new robes, feeling better the second they fell into place. He narrowed his eyes at Rogue. "You little thief!"

"I'm not a thief," she protested. "You gave me all that stuff!"

"You didn't tell me, either!"

"I was under the impression you didn't care about loot," she said, dismissal obvious.

"Right, of course," Harry said, smiling. "I found something else too. See this?" He held out a piece of armour. _Leather of Aut_. "Guess I'll sell this."

Rogue reached out for the piece of armour. "Gimmi!"

"I don't think I will."

She frowned while thinking. A grin appeared. "You're right, you should sell it. After all ... if you give it to me then I'll have to take off this worn armour and –"

Harry threw the armour towards her, not taking his eyes off of her and not embarrassed at all. An eye-blink later, Rogue was dressed in the new armour. "What the – Hey!"

"Tricks of the trade, my friend," Rogue said.

After clearing their inventory, they walked back towards the Town Portal.

"What were you reading, anyway?" Harry asked.

"Daunting piece of poetry."

Harry glanced at her. "Forget I asked."

They fought their way through a few more rooms until they entered an odd eight-shaped room. Rogue took the lead, frowning when she knocked into something invisible. Demons started phasing in and out of sight, surrounding them in an instant and blocking their way out of the room.

"Move!" Rogue shouted.

"I can't, there's no room," Harry said. "We're trapped, those damned demons are all around us!"

"AAaaaahhhh," they both shouted before falling to the ground. Their equipment fell around their corpses.

#

Harry blinked his eyes, mind still half-dazed. He looked around, taking a moment to realise he was at the same place he had started out with Albus.

"Odd," he said. "I thought there'd be a train-station."

Harry shook his head harshly to rid himself of that stray thought. A shiver travelled through his body. He looked down.

"Hey, I'm nearly naked!" he shouted.

"So am I," Rogue shouted from someplace far away.

Harry turned towards her with enthusiasm, only to see her disappearing through a previously set Town Portal. His shoulders slumped, he walked towards the portal before walking through. He had no idea how she had gotten her gear back from the horde of monsters and he doubted that he wanted to find out. They battled their way through the hideous foes, Rogue taking the lead while he grabbed his gear along the way. At long last, they found an amulet.

"Worthless," Rogue said as she looked at it in disgust.

Harry swiped the amulet from her hands. "For someone that nicks everything, yes. I, however, didn't have an amulet yet."

"He-he, silly me."

#

Harry and Rogue kept battling their way through the levels, descending deeper and deeper into the caves beneath the monastery. The maze-like structure had given way to wide-open areas littered with creeks of flowing lava that turned the air hot and stifling. They had both grinned at the new layout since the creeks acted as blockades for most creatures so they could kill them from a safe distance.

The corpses of a small army of archers and beasts were strewn around them as they reached the anvil that Griswold required. Rogue picked up their objective and opened a Town Portal. Before they could step through, several vortexes appeared around them, drawing their attention as black-cloaked white-masked figures stepped out.

"Potter!" one of the men shouted.

A scream distracted most of the new arrivals. One of the vortexes had spat out its contents directly into the lava, burning the two men alive.

"Friends of yours?" Rogue asked, bow hanging limply at her side.

Harry answered her question by knocking her out of the way of a green light. He had no idea whether they would be resurrected from that particular magic and he'd rather not risk it. He started throwing walls of flame around while Rogue handed out her arrows like candy after she had jumped upright again. A few seconds later, the 'battle' had finished.

"Worst fight ever," Rogue said. "They didn't even drop anything. Worthless filth ..."

Harry looked at the smouldering corpses in sadness. Not that he cared about their deaths, but their wands had been burned to ashes. He followed Rogue through the portal into town. Rogue turned in the anvil and, upon receiving the reward, sold it straight back to Griswold. Now that Harry had seen the Death Eaters again, he wondered how his Headmaster was doing. He hadn't spoken to the old man for quite some time now. He walked over and stopped in front of Albus.

"Hello, my boy. Sherbet lemon?"

"No, thanks," Harry said. "I was wondering –"

"Hello, my boy. Sherbet lemon?"

Harry's jaw unhinged. He looked at the old man, horrified. Turning towards Cain, Harry noticed the smug smile the man sported. Harry's eye started twitching uncontrollably.

"Hello, my boy –"

Harry was pulled out of his frustrated state when someone tapped his shoulder. He spun around and saw Rogue standing there, holding the spiked club she'd used on Cain earlier. Harry gave her a look of absolute adoration, quickly accepting the priceless gift. Grinning, Harry turned towards a paling Albus.

"Now, Harry, I was only –"

_THUD._

"I love this place," Harry said.

Rogue started snickering, looking at the sprawled man in approval while Cain started edging away from them, unwilling to draw their attention by helping Albus out.

#

"_I must be getting close,_" both heroes said.

Rogue's eye twitched and Harry rolled his eyes after the exclamation was forced from their lips. The young duo walked through a long hallway, walls now made from bones. They slowed their pace to a crawl when nothing happened, waiting for all hell to break loose. Their inventory was nearly full but by now they were both too lazy to head back into town.

"If only I had a Horadric Cube," Rogue mumbled.

"What's a Horadric Cube?"

"I don't know."

"How could you not know?" Harry asked Rogue. "You just wanted one."

"It's a saying, all right! A saying!" she said. Lowering her voice, she added, "Bloody annoying to get too ... stupid quest scattered around the entire bloody act."

"What are you –?" Harry stopped his question. "Forget it. I won't understand anyway."

Rogue patted his cheek. "Smart man." She started walking away with a bounce in her step.

"Ah, shoot," Harry said.

_TWACK._

"Figuratively, woman!" he shouted at her retreating back.

Rogue laughed until several bolts of magic nearly hit her. She didn't move behind cover, instead dodging the slow bolts when they almost hit her. Arrows slid through the air, finding targets all around. Harry stepped into sight too, ready to attack ... but he froze at the sight of his enemies. His eyes widened in fascination. Rogue pulled him around the corner, saving his life in the process.

"Harry!" She slapped him. "Enemies! Kill them already!"

Harry blinked his eyes, giving Rogue a blank stare. "Hmm – wha?"

Rogue narrowed her eyes. She grabbed him and slammed him into the wall. "Are you drooling over those ... those Succubi? Those skimpy-clothed slutty demons?"

Harry swallowed, not seeing an immediate excuse. Perhaps the truth would work. "I'm not used to seeing nearly naked women."

"Not good enough," she said with a growl. "They're demons without personality. No intellect. No skill. I doubt they'd be able to lift a bow, let alone fire an arrow! They –"

Harry stopped listening after the bow-reference, which resulted in a silly smile appearing. Even he wasn't stupid enough to miss such an obvious hint. Rogue halted her long-winding speech when she saw the smile.

"Ah, screw it," she said before grabbing his face and kissing him aggressively.

"Hmmm ..."

Their vision exploded ... as a myriad of magical bolts slammed into them.

#

Harry opened his eyes, still grinning. "You got us killed."

"Yes, I did," Rogue said without any remorse. She licked her lips. "We seem to have missed out on a skill."

"Skill?"

"We should level this. In fact, I insist." She nodded her head in determination.

Rogue sat down next to Harry. She didn't wait for a reaction, instead immediately kissing Harry who didn't have any complaints to voice, not that he'd be able to with her stuck to his lips. They remained there for an undetermined amount of time to experience the delight of kissing. As such, the new couple was unconcerned when strange events started happening around them.

A red portal opened up nearby. Two skimpy-clothed women stepped out. They vanished from their spot, reappearing a bit closer to them. The women teleported several times until they arrived in the middle of the town. They both looked around in confusion.

"Where are the mobs? And shouldn't this place be on fire?"

"Don't know. Kinda looks charming, doesn't it? Maybe we bugged out. Anyway, let's see if we can find it."

They teleported away again, making their way further north. The shouting from a young boy cut through the entire town.

"Hey! What are you – Get away from me, you crazy women! Aaaahhhh, my leg! Give me back my leg!"

#

Harry and Rogue arrived in a sub-level to attend to a quest, which had started on the fifteenth level through a staff of some sorts. They were both well rested and relaxed, especially considering Cain had been talking, and talking, and talking ... and they had fallen asleep on the spot.

"Best sleep I've ever had," Rogue said. She had been very comfortable, having slept on top of an unassuming Harry.

"My back hurts and my neck is stiff," Harry said, grumbling.

"You'll get used to it." Rogue made a vain attempt to stop her lips from twitching.

They started fighting their way through the level until they finally found the place where Archbishop Lazarus and his two trusted Succubi, Red Vex and Black Jade, had sequestered themselves. Harry and Rogue looked at the sacrificial altar and saw Lazarus' corpse directly next to it.

"Well ... this is new," Rogue said, dumbfounded.

A moan drew the attention of both heroes, both their heads snapping towards the source while preparing their weapons for combat.

"Sirius?" Harry whispered.

Another moan made Harry realise exactly what he was looking at. He turned around abruptly.

"I need to scrub my eyeballs clean," Harry said.

Rogue kept her eyes on the scene until Harry forcefully turned her around.

"Hey! I was learning things to try out later," she said.

Harry blushed at the unexpected comment. He shook his head and shouted, "Sirius! What the hell?!"

"Harry?" Sirius asked, halting his fondling of the harmless Succubi. "So good to see you! How are you?"

"How am I?" Harry asked, astonishment creeping into his voice. "You're the one that fell through the Veil!"

"Best thing that happened to me, really. This place is brilliant. The old guy didn't seem too pleased at first, but he stopped protesting after these two mauled him to death."

"They killed their own master?" Rogue asked.

"Not on purpose," Sirius said. "I was busy dodging their bolts and the fossil wasn't quick enough. I got them to see things my way, though!"

"Obviously," Harry said dryly.

"Need my help?" Sirius asked.

Harry knew Sirius would drop everything and come along if he asked, but he looked at the red-faced Rogue and gave her a loving smile. "Nah. We've got it covered."

"Good, good ... well ..." Sirius trailed off.

Harry focussed on his inventory and a book appeared in his hands. He tossed it to Sirius. "Page through that, we already know it."

Sirius caught the book. _Book of Town Portal._ He did as Harry instructed and, after the book vanished, blinked in confusion. "Whoa. Nice. Wish Hogwarts taught like this."

"I reacted the same way," Harry said. "Anyway, use that if you need to get away from here."

"Thanks."

"We'll be on our way now. Have fun!"

"Oh, I will," Sirius said, giving the two Succubi a lecherous smile.

Harry ran out of the sub-level while Rogue skipped behind him with a massive grin. They arrived back on the fifteenth level. Rogue tapped Harry on the shoulder.

"Oh, Harry?"

She threw a Town Portal and shoved Harry through it before dragging him behind a nearby rock. She kissed him forcefully before she grabbed him by the balls and squeezed gently. Harry's eyes and mouth opened a bit further, allowing Rogue to deepen the kiss. She withdrew and hovered a few inches from him.

"I like your friend. He's got good ideas."

Harry was too slow to reply, especially since Rogue had taken his hand and put it on one of her breasts, which ensured Harry couldn't form any words at all. She descended on him, moaning from the new feelings this was creating.

#

Harry and Rogue walked towards the town after having escaped through a Town Portal. They had made their way onto the final level and only had one lever left to pull when a squadron of Blood Knights, Advocates, and Harry's 'friends' had ambushed them.

"More friends of yours?" Rogue asked.

"Not really. The insane woman is Bellatrix and the ugly thing is Voldemort. According to Sherbet-Lemon-guy, I'm _destined_ to vanquish the latter."

"Destined?" she asked, nose scrunched up.

"Yes, through a genuine prophecy," Harry said. "Which means that other people can sit around and twiddle their thumbs since they can't deal with him. I – I've got an idea."

"Are you sure?" Rogue asked, grinning.

"Oh, shut it." He gave her a playful shove. "We've been claiming all the fun and I think we should share more."

"Really?"

"Yes, yes ... I have a few people in mind that can assist us with the mass of enemies below."

After arriving at the village square, they cleared their bags before making their way towards the well, only stopping when they ended up in front of Albus and Cain.

"Hello, my friends," Harry said, smiling. The smile turned into a vicious grin as he continued, "Come along or die ..."

"Now, Harry," Albus started, breaking off when Rogue notched an arrow on her bow.

"Hello, my friend?" Cain asked uncertainly.

"You two are going to help out. Town Portal. Move it," Harry commanded.

The two elderly men remained stationary, not moving an inch.

Harry nodded absentmindedly, reminding himself about old age and stubbornness. "I see." He turned to Rogue. "Remember that brilliant spell that made you look _smoking hot_? I think our old friends will be most eager to help us in a moment."

The old men shivered when Rogue giggled. She skipped towards the portal, followed by Harry. When he reached the maximum range of the spell, he started throwing walls of fire around, shepherding the two men towards the portal. Noticing that the men started to move less upon the realisation that the walls weren't placed to harm them, Harry's eye twitched and he placed one directly under them. Both men found their youth again as they ran out of the fire.

"My robes are on fire!" one of them shouted.

"There's water through the portal!" Rogue shouted back, not bothering to hide her sarcasm.

The two oblivious men ran through the portal, followed by the amused duo. To their surprise, they didn't have to dodge any attacks. All enemies were staring at the two figures that were running around the room, robes burning brightly while they searched for water.

"Dumbledore!" Voldemort shouted, flicking his wand out and throwing spells at the man.

Albus was hit by one of the incoming spells and his secret stash of sherbet lemons split open. The tiny, round delights scattered around the room, covering most of the ground before the flood finally stopped. The objects were harmless since no one moved ... until Cain stopped in front of one of the Advocates.

"Hello, my friend –"

Inexplicably, every enemy in the room started to run away from the man. Most fell to the ground haphazardly, while others started throwing fire balls in a vain attempt to destroy this abnormal enemy. Most of them killed each other in the resulting friendly fire. The few that survived were picked off by Rogue's rain of arrows.

Voldemort remained standing, but Bellatrix lost her balance, slipped, and fell against a wall. She banged her head hard. One of her hands shakily touched her head.

"Where am I?" Bellatrix asked. She looked around the room. "Creepy." When she saw Voldemort next to her, she backed away from him with wide eyes. As such, she slipped on another orb and fell hard on her left hand. "Aaahhh," she screamed. "My pinky!" She started sobbing.

Voldemort stared at his most fanatic follower. "Pull yourself together, woman!"

"Meanie!" Bellatrix shouted.

Harry took the opportunity to throw an armada of spells towards Voldemort who failed to react in time and didn't survive the onslaught. Bellatrix smiled at Harry, who returned it half-heartily. Albus, robes doused, made his way over by shuffling his feet forward as to knock the orbs out of the way instead of stepping on them. A whispered conversation followed before Albus looked up.

"Brain concussion. She's harmless now."

Harry swallowed his reply since he had already figured that out himself. He put up a Town Portal, allowing both old men and Bellatrix to make their way out.

"Thanks for the help!" Rogue said cheerfully.

"So," Harry said.

"Last lever."

"Let's get this over with."

Rogue pulled the lever. The sound of walls scraping could be heard in the distance. Harry and Rogue grinned at each other before firing a few projectiles into the distance. A small army walked towards them, tripping over their secret weapon and perishing as easily as the previous army.

"This is boring," Rogue said.

"I know, but it'll be over sooner this way. Then we can focus on more – err – interesting activities."

Rogue kissed his cheek. When the sound of flailing and dying enemies lessened, they picked off the few that had managed to survive. Copying Albus' example, they shuffled towards the final opened room. A red, huge, ugly creature with horns stood in the middle.

"It has a tail," Harry said.

"So this is Diablo," Rogue said. "To call it ugly would be a severe understatement."

"Why is that, anyway? Voldemort looked almost as disgusting as that thing."

Rogue gave Harry a scathing look. "I remember a certain person being so enchanted by the enemy that he failed to kill them. Ugly is a good thing because I really, _really_ want to kill that thing."

Harry started throwing walls of fire while Rogue launched her arrows. The creature moved towards them, unhampered by the tiny orbs that crunched beneath its feet. Harry and Rogue cursed as their easy victory vanished before them. Harry teleported away.

"Hey!" Rogue said, protesting his disappearance. She spotted him in front of Diablo. "Harry!"

Harry put up a golem to distract Diablo before teleporting back towards Rogue. The two young heroes kept up a steady stream of attacks until the demonic creature perished in a howl of agony, blood spraying in front of it before collapsing on the ground. Harry and Rogue shared a smile, both of them having gotten rid of their enemies. Harry had seen enough movies to realise that after such a conquest, an eloquent statement had to be made.

"I need to pee again."

He walked around the corner and did his business. A bloodcurdling scream echoed throughout the level, turning Harry as white as a sheet. He ran back towards Rogue and grabbed her in a tight hug after looking her over. She looked as gorgeous as always.

"What was that?" he asked.

Rogue sighed. "I told you he was a useless idiot."

Harry turned to look at Diablo, but instead saw a male human corpse with a hole in his skull.

"Mine!" a familiar voice said.

Harry's eyes snapped towards Warrior who had acquired a new shiny gem to redecorate the inside of his head.

"Yeah," Harry whispered. "Yours. Keep it."

The world started to shake and fade around them. Harry and Rogue embraced each other tightly.

"What's happening?" Rogue asked.

"I don't know."

A vortex appeared in front of them, sucking them inside before they could decide what to do.

#

"Mr Potter," a familiar, stern, and female voice said. "Where have you been? And where is the Headmaster?"

Harry stood up and dusted himself off. He looked around, unwavering under the stare of all the people in the Great Hall. He looked down, grinned, and pulled Rogue upright.

"Where are we?" Rogue asked.

"Rogue," Harry said with grandeur. "Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"The school you've been cursing about after discovering the easy way to learn spells?" Rogue asked, frown clearly visible.

Harry ignored all the scornful looks. He went over her statement and nodded with determination. "The one and only."

#

**THE END**

#


End file.
